A New Theory

Doritos, more than just a tasty treat? I believe so. I am not citing sources at all, more or less just assuming a few things here. But I believe that Doritos cause people to be taller. Now this may not be true in every person, but I believe that in general, Doritos make you taller.


The average height of people today is much taller than it was many years ago. This could be attributed to man just standing more upright, but i blame Doritos. Consumption of Doritos now is most likely higher than it has ever been. The average height of people is also higher than it has ever been. Coincidence...I think not! I even have some reasons to back this up.

Take a look at Doritos main ingrediants: Corn, vegetable oil, salt, and cheese. Lets take a look at the first ingrediant, Corn. First of all, corn is good for you. If you have a corn fed deer, they tend to be more healthy and larger than a swamp deer that eats random junk. Also, I bet the corn they use is genetically altered to grow larger than your basic corn in order to improve their efficiency and reduce costs. They probably even add special "stuff" into the water or soil to increase growth in the corn. What does this corn then do when you eat it?

Next, look at the vegetable oil used. It is made up from corn, soy beans, and/or sun flower seed oil. I bet all of these are also altered and fed special stuff to grow larger. Then you eat it...

The salt...ok salt is salt.

The cheese. Cheese is made from cows milk. Milk is good for you (well if you arent lactose intolerant). The cows are probably fed special feed to grow more and produce more milk. I mean why not? It would be great for the milking and steak business.



This is why I believe that Doritos make people taller. More youth eat doritos now than ever before. Parents are weak now and give into childrens demands, and feed them what they want just to shut them up. Is there anything wrong with Doritos? I dont think so, I like them. I will probably feed my kids mainly doritos and force them to play basketball so I have the next child prodigy basketball player!